Breaking News: Surprise Merger

With the economy apparently in a never-ending downward spiral yet another merger between 2 massive corporations appears imminent. Sirius Satellite Radio recently merged with XM Radio to become Sirius XM. Now the combined company is merging with Lee Jeans. The news came as a major surprise as it was initially unclear why these two companies who produce entirely different products would merge. Rumors at first were that the the CEO of Sirius XM thought the name Sirius-Lee XM Radio and Jeans had a nice ring to it. This of course led to furious outcries from stockholders of Sirius XM who demanded that CEO Mel Karmazin be fired. The CEO dismissed the rumor that the merger was only due to his afinity for the name of the newly-company.

"That is outrageous that anyone would say I acquired Lee Jeans solely to change the name of the company to Sirius-Lee XM Radio. In fact that isn't even going to be the name of the new company. The name is going to be Sirius XM-Lee Jeans and Radios. So that proves it right there that anyone who said that we did it just for the name was just looking to stir up trouble. We had talks with several companies who manufacture jeans and a few companies that produced other products, but really this was the best deal for everyone involved. I assure all of our stockholders this was done in the best interest of both companies and you will soon see the synergy these two corporations becoming one will create. I know that we have greatly increased subscriber growth in the past due to our agreements with most of the major auto-manufacturers that placed Sirius XM radios in new and used cars all over the country. Recently the inability of most Americans to get the necessary credit to buy a car due to the economic crisis has forced us to get creative in order to make sure we saw continued subscriber growth despite the obvious economic difficulties going on in the country. So effective immediately every pair of Lee Jeans that is sold will come with a free Sirius XM-Lee Radio. We also have been working on making a pair of jeans that has a built in satellite radio, but we still have some work to do. We have to decide whether to make a waterproof radio or just tell people not to wash their jeans. We are in the process of pitching these ideas to focus groups and hope to have an announcement in the near future. We will also be adding a new Lee Jeans channel that we feel will add increased value to our subscribers. In addition we have agreed to a multi-year deal with Howard Stern to wear Lee Jeans exclusively and promote them as much as he promotes himself and Sirius XM. This is an historic day for our company and I am proud to be the CEO of the newly-formed Sirius XM-Lee Jeans and Radios."

Although publicly the CEO said all the right things privately it was said he was not pleased that he had to change the name of the company from the one that made him covet acquiring Lee Jeans in the first place. A source who spoke on the condition of anonymity said Mr. Karmazin said "If I had known we would have to call it Sirius XM-Lee Radio & Jeans I never would have bought the company. Who would want to own a company with a name like that? Come on people you know that was the sole reason for the acquisition. I mean seriously."